Jess does da ‘Roon

The top searches for people tracking down my blog right now include “flooded shoes”, “how to pop a blister”, and “seductress”. I don’t know how you got here, but I hope it was through one of those methods. Poppin’ blisters and seducing, this is my M.O.

Today was the World Cup qualifying match of Togo vs. Cameroon (or as I like to call it “Togo Domination Day”.  
The history of my training group here in Cameroon is that when we arrived in Philly for pre-country training, we were roaming around Philly with trainees headed for Togo.  We’d see them in a mall on an escalator and recognize the Peace Corps-ish look and then when we talked to them (“Hey! Are you Peace Corps? Really!? Awesome. Cameroon?? Oh…”), we’d realize that they were… not us.
Back to today. All day, people were buying sweatbands and badly printed T-shirts that said “Bravos Les Lions Indominables”.  I somehow forgot to bring any shirt that looked remotely patriotic… so I ended up just trying to yell loud enough to prove myself.
We went to the game in NUMBERS.  All the whities from all over the country filtered in until there must have been at least 15 of us (OK, so there are more whities in Cameroon than 15…) and we managed to get in to the stadium without anyone getting beaten up (which is less than I can say for Mexico – good job for your quasi-aggressiveness, Cameroon).  We sat down and immediately started smearing sunscreen on our pasty forearms and sweaty heads – although I, in an attempt to hold on to a shred of dignity, had applied back in the house.  The guys behind us asked why we would need this type of lotion and we tried to explain sunburn in special English. God, we sound like pathetic creatures.
The Cameroonian anthem was sang (only in French, although in anglophone Cameroon we often sing it in both languages… since WE are bilinigual…).  I’ll save you the anxiety and tell you now that Cameroon smoked down Togo 3-0. It was a great game, but I’m also entertained by watching people run around with flags in the stands, pondering about the stadium’s construction, wondering where the popcorn dude is.  Let me tell you what surprised me:

1. Cameroonians are INSANE about people standing up during the match.  They are vocal and will literally MAKE someone sit down after everyone has been given the necessary standing moment when a goal is scored. Now, Cameroon, you are a very unruly country of people spitting and yelling.  Where the hell does it come from that people must be sitting orderly at the game – albeit while whistles and African drums are blazing throughout the stadium? 
2. There are people selling snacks at not jacked up prices. Well done.
3. There are not NEARLY enough organized cheers/chants. I was just happy to see everyone waving their hands in the air at one point, although it wasn’t even a true “wave”. Mexico’s got that figured out, why can’t we have a little “Alons-y Lions!” or something?

And, we got on TV.  This is why I encouraged white people to come (I didn’t).  When we are in crowds, we stand out. When we’re all wearing jerseys (I wasn’t) and squinting, we are a spectacle. So before the game started, we were featured, looking hot and bored.  Unfortunately, we were really prepared later on when a camera came by and we all did fun cute little hand gestures and big smiles. So when we came back and people were calling us to say they saw us on TV, we thought they saw our good side… but alas, they caught us at our down moment… that paparazzi.